Dismantling rape culture means holding people responsible for their actions — even people you love.
Omggg I feel like every survivor can read this and understand the deep disappointment, hurt, and mistrust towards the ppl who continue to be friends with their rapist. It is such a betrayal to support/defend abusive people.
"I think back on all the times I supported this man, all the times I called him my friend, and I can’t help remembering my friend in high school, the purplish welts her long fingernails left in her palm. I remember all the times people stuck up for her rapist, every time that someone said something affectionate or even neutral about him, and I would see her fists clench.
"Abusers rely on their communities’ affection, ignorance, and silence, and on the natural reluctance to take sides. I refuse to let my friendship or my neutrality be used as a shield for predators. Given the option to stand with a survivor, that’s always the side I’ll choose."
"Neutrality" is choosing sides - you side with the rapist. Thank you to this author for writing this.
by Emma Shakarshy and Cordelia Nailong
“When some of her Instagram followers tried to start a dialogue around the implications of her photos, she responded with a heated defense of her photos. The point of her comment, which was deleted minutes later, was that “IT IS ALWAYS A FEMINIST STATEMENT WHEN A LESBIAN EXPRESSES HER SEXUALITY. PERIOD. And being an “artist” myself I shall express that ANYWHERE I CAN.” You can see her disrespect both in her lack of engagement with the meanings of Kara Walker’s art and in her defensive insistence that her oppression as a lesbian trumps any other oppression. Her sexualizing gaze makes it clear that no matter the context, DeLaria has the right to consume. That entitlement disguised in sexual liberation is white supremacy.
Through her photos and public comments, DeLaria is a prime example of the ways in which we white queers oppress queer people of color without even being aware of the impact of our behavior. By ignoring the message of the piece, her comments show a distinct lack of respect for Kara Walker as an artist. Her comments and subsequent “artistic freedom” excuses perpetuate the violence that Walker’s art means to critique. Sadly, its not a new story, but one that can be told over and over again.”
"I have been held up consistently as a token, as the ‘right’ kind of trans woman (educated, able-bodied, attractive, articulate, heteronormative). It promotes the delusion that because I ‘made it,’ that level of success is easily accessible to all young trans women. Let’s be clear: It is not."
- Janet Mock, “Redefining Realness”
At the First Touch of Winter, Summer Fades Away by Valentine Cameron Prinsep (1838-1904)
oil on canvas, 1897
i don’t care i love
ithim » Erik LehnsherrAnd to my mutant brothers and sisters out there, I say this: No more hiding. No more suffering. You have lived in the shadows and shame and fear for too long. Come out, join me! Fight together in a brotherhood of our kind! A new tomorrow that starts today!
"This is what’s different: Now, I’m not getting any negativity. In fact, teenage boys come up to me on the street and want to get their pictures taken with me, want to give me a hug, tell me that Big Boo’s their favorite character. That means a lot to me. Because I’m winning the hearts and minds of people that are young and are going to grow up and control the world.” - Lea DeLaria
lolololol teenage boys love the misogynistic butch. how progressive.
The misogynistic boys who are going to grow up and control the world will be a-ok with women being misogynists too!
Somehow we’ve totally separated homophobia and misogyny in the way we think about those things when they’re so fucking linked.
(I want to love every butch lesbian ever but like… #andropessimism is real.)
"Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness" Kurt Vonnegut
I really love this